“I’m going to eat kale with every evening meal, get up early for yoga and sleep nine hours every day.” The funniest lies are the ones we tell ourselves aren’t they?
We’ve come up with five New Year’s resolutions most of us have already broken. But hey, we’ve also come up with the reasons why that’s totally okay. (Answer – we have kids!)
1. I’m not going to use chocolate/TV/treats as a bribe.
Well, that one went out the window quickly. Notably on day one, when mummy had a “headache from too much grape juice” and wanted to be left alone for a little bit. Preferably a longer bit, but we’re realistic. That show where there is a dog who is a police officer will keep them quiet for 30 minutes.
2. I’m going to stick to my diet religiously.
Until I didn’t have time to eat lunch, suddenly realised I was hungry at 5pm and mouth-vacuumed the kids’ leftovers from dinner. Instead of a healthy apple and homemade vegetable soup, I’ve eaten cold fish fingers and a squashed sandwich they refused to eat earlier. When hubby gets home we’re getting a takeaway.
3. We’re going to sit down and eat at the table as a family.
In my head we all sat around the table eating nutritious home-cooked meals while telling each other about our days and having actual conversations. Tablets and phones were safely tucked away in another room and life was like the Waltons, only with central-heating. PAH!
4. We’re going to get organised as a family and not leave the house looking like a tornado hit.
In my head there were flowcharts and timetables and colour-coded things pinned to the fridge. Everyone knew when it was sports day/art day/cooking day/dress like a Roman day and life was blissful and serene. Well it's almost back to school time and I haven't got this together and quite frankly don't have the time to care.
5. I will NOT do the school run looking like a Roald Dahl character or something the cat spat out.
So we haven't quite broken this one yet but we're not very hopeful. Having seen so many glamorous-looking parents on a regular basis, I thought I could do it too. But do you know what? Going outside without make-up and straight hair actually makes an empowering statement to my daughters. And that coffee stain could easily pass for a quirky pattern at a passing glance.
You know what....My kids cuddle me and love me. Everything else pales in comparison.