With emotions running high during the teenage years, your children can be very sensitive to feeling that their sibling is getting more attention or they are finding things trickier to do than their sibling. For example, the siblings may be comparing gifts they receive. This could result in one sibling feeling that it’s unfair and feel bitter towards their twin, triplet or more. Although it can be difficult to deal with at the time, these experiences can offer the opportunity for good emotional growth, helping the teenagers to learn empathy and how to support each other.
Making negative comparisons between your children is likely to cause conflict. For example saying that one sibling is better than the other at swimming. Comparisons, even if they are not intended, may often increase jealously and competition between siblings. On the flip side, competition between the siblings may also be a positive experience – it’s a way to build their own identity in an attempt to define themselves as individuals.
Arguments between the siblings may just be where they are finding their feet on the path to independence. In this situation, it could help if they are supported in trying to understand more about themselves, and each other, in regards to their changing interests and strengths. Try to encourage siblings to support each other with their hobbies. This will give everybody the chance to succeed without competition or jealousy and give them the opportunity to feel genuinely happy with each other’s achievements.