Losing all your babies from a twin or triplet pregnancy can have huge emotional repercussions. The grief can be immense and long-lasting, as it involves the loss of your babies' lives and the hopes and dreams of raising multiples.
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The first few days and weeks at home following the loss of your babies can be incredibly painful. Some parents talk of the deafening silence and a sense of numbness when returning home. Normal everyday tasks may feel overwhelming and you may feel a sense of exhaustion.
It can be a struggle to find the joy and positivity in life and you may question whether you will ever feel happiness again. All these feelings are normal, so be gentle with yourself and take things one day at a time.
Setting boundaries
It can be helpful to recognise that not everyone may understand or know how to support you in your grief, particularly in your first few days at home. It's okay to set boundaries with well-meaning friends and family members if their words or actions are not helpful or supportive. Surround yourself with people who respect your feelings and boundaries. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you adjust to life after losing your babies.
Give yourself time and space to heal
Healing from baby loss is a journey and it's okay to take breaks, step back and give yourself the time and space you need to heal. Remember that healing is not linear and it's normal to have good days and bad days. You will never forget your babies, but over time you will begin to find a new normal. You may start to find ways to remember your babies that feels special to you. Through this, you'll begin to find purpose, hope and meaning again.
We have lots of support and ideas on ways to remember your babies.
Professional support
Many parents find it helpful to seek support from a counsellor or therapist specialising in grief and loss and we'd recommend that seeking professional support is a good idea. A professional can offer guidance and coping strategies, particularly if you're finding it difficult to function in daily life or struggling to find meaning or purpose.
Counselling can offer tools and techniques to manage symptoms and improve your wellbeing. There's no shame in seeking support. Counselling can provide a valuable resource in helping you navigate your grief and find a path towards healing. The BACP website can help you find an accredited counsellor in your area.
BACP accredited services directory
