Losing all your babies from a twin or triplet pregnancy can have huge emotional repercussions. The grief can be immense and long-lasting, as it involves the loss of your babies' lives and the hopes and dreams of raising multiples.

You might feel a range of complex emotions following the death of your babies. These feelings may be unexpected.

Many parents feel the following emotions:

• A sense of shock or disbelief: It can be difficult to understand what has happened, particularly if your pregnancy seemed to be progressing normally. It's not unusual to feel uncomfortable or ashamed if you didn't realise something was wrong.
• Sadness: A sense of utter sadness is common. This can feel overwhelming. You may question if you'll ever feel happiness or joy again.
• Guilt or self-blame: Some parents feel guilt or self-blame, wondering if they could've done something differently to prevent the loss. You may wonder if you missed any signs or if there was something you could have done to protect your babies. It's important to understand that it's not your fault. Many factors, out of your control, can lead to the death of a baby. Where possible, understanding why your babies died can help reduce some of the feelings of guilt and self-blame by reassuring you that you weren't responsible.
• Anger: Feelings of anger, both towards yourself and those around you, are common. You may be angry at the unfairness of the situation or feel like the experience of being a parent to multiples has been taken away. It's okay to feel angry.
• Loneliness and isolation: You may feel isolated, even when surrounded by friends and family. It can feel like nobody understands the depth of your pain. Friends and family may not know what to say, or you may feel they say the wrong things. This can bring heartache, anger and further isolation. It can be helpful to connect with others who have experienced similar loss to gain a feeling of being heard and understood.
• Anxiety and physical symptoms: You may have lost a sense of security and trust in the world, making you feel anxious about future pregnancies and other areas of your life. This can manifest in physical symptoms too. Fatigue, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping and even physical pain may be experienced. Some women find their arms ache from the instinctive urge to hold their babies in the first few weeks and months. Again, this is all completely normal.

Twins Trust made me realise I wasn't alone after my twins died

Sarah lost her twins Oscar and Oliver after going into premature labour at 22 weeks. Here, she reflects on the loss of her boys.

Personal experiences, Bereavement, Loss during pregnancy

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