18 July 2022

Going on a Bear Hunt for Jacob and George  
By Sam Rumens

On the 2^nd October 2021 it would have been my first son Jacob’s 10^th birthday. Four days later it should have been his twin George’s. Sadly they were not able to stay with us after being born at 24 weeks. Jacob lived briefly and kicked his arms and legs around but was too small for the doctors to intervene. George was much bigger and we hoped he might have a different outcome but after a difficult delivery, he was devastatingly stillborn.

In some ways it seems a long time ago, in other ways it seems only yesterday. I’ve come a long way and have been blessed to have two more daughters. I often wonder how they would have been different and how they are the same. My oldest daughter is studious and quite shy. I think she might be more like George as he was always the less active in my tummy. My youngest is into football, climbing and is very social. Jacob was always kicking me and moving around so perhaps he would have been a footballer too. 

The girls know all about their big brothers and talk about them all the time. Their ashes are scattered at a beautiful carving of bears in Chislehurst and we walk past them most days.