26 September 2022
By Kate Baker-Loveday
Earlier this year I achieved something of great personal importance; I published a book: Two Worlds One Mother. It is a book about baby loss. This was considerable and significant not only because it is my first book, but also because it is written in memory of my twin girls, Violet and Daisy. The idea for Two Worlds One Mother came about from wanting to help others. Written as a short story and in a poetic style, drawn from my experience of loss, and the understanding I have learnt from the experiences of others too, Two Worlds One Mother is an attempt to gently and impartially, yet realistically, represent baby loss.
After the unexpected loss of Violet and Daisy, I received no professional help or advice. I knew those around me cared but I also knew they didn’t know what to say. I thought about my little Violet and Daisy so much, and inside, despite trying my hardest to be strong and wear my brave face on the outside, I was in ongoing emotional turmoil. I experienced thoughts and emotions no one wants to have. Some years on after learning to live with my grief and navigating between the outside world, and the inside world, I found there were still times when something out-of-the-blue would trigger an emotional response. On this occasion, when I was triggered, I had also been coming to terms with health-related disabilities and my response was profound. An uncharacteristically defensive reaction but one that would make me see that every loss was important and needed to be recognised as such. I knew then I wanted to do something to help others and realised the only way I could do this was if I was to share my journey of losing Violet and Daisy.
So, I set up a Facebook page and called it Violet Daisy Chain – All Pregnancy and Baby Loss Counts. This is when I became a member of the Twins Trust Bereavement Support Group and began to share my posts. Everything was all so new and I was well outside of my comfort zone, but I soon realised for myself how much interacting with others and sharing experiences helped. I found the group coordinator, Sharon, incredibly supportive of my efforts. A few years on when I had the idea to write my book, I contacted Sharon to ask if she would like to write the foreword. I received a lovely response from her, confirming she would be honoured, a response which meant so much.
Helping to advocate the importance of all baby loss and the impact such an experience has, is something I feel deeply about. My journey in creating this book began with the loss of Violet and Daisy, but symbolically, it is about all babies lost and every loss journey. I know I could not have created what I have without my family and friends, and that includes the Twins Trust Bereavement Support Group family. I am wholeheartedly grateful to everyone for their kindness and support, and for being part of this significant journey, especially Sharon – thank you.
To further support bereavement through baby loss, I am donating 10% of my royalties to the Twins Trust for each book sold. I would like to humbly announce I have received my first royalty payment, and in turn, have been able to make my first donation to the Twins Trust. Finally, something I would very much like to share is, the date I happened to receive my first royalty payment, which was August 2nd - Violets and Daisy’s anniversary. For me, there just could not have been a date with any greater relevance.
Two Worlds One Mother is available to puchase on Amazon.
