Welcome to the spring edition of the newsletter
The Twins Trust BSG exists to support all parents and carers whose twins, triplets or more have died, whether it is during or after pregnancy. We are sorry for your loss and hope that you will find some comfort in the newsletter. If you would like your personal experience, poem or fundraising story to be included in a future edition of the newsletter please get in contact: [email protected].
I hope that you are beginning to see some signs of spring from wherever you are based. It’s my favourite time of year for searching for flowers – I love daffodils, snowdrops, and forget-me-nots. It can be difficult for many of us though as we approach Mother’s Day, so please know we are here and reach out for support if you need it. Our private Facebook group is so supportive and can be accessed all of the time. I find it helpful to plan something into my day that involves my twins. Usually it will include visiting the cemetery with some spring flowers, often daffodils as they are my favourite flower, and some ‘time’ during the day to light a candle with my family.
~ Sharon
Sharon Darke
Bereavement Support Group Coordinator
[email protected]
Poems
Little Snowdrop
Author unknown
The world may never notice
If a snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
For every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.
We thought of you today
Author unknown
We thought of you today,
But that is nothing new
We thought of you yesterday
And will tomorrow, too.
We think of you in silence
And make no outward show
For what it meant to lose you
Only those who love you know
Remembering you is easy
We do it every day
It's the heartache of losing you
That will never go away.
A message from Lucie
Thank you so much to everyone who has already signed up to do a challenge event, or In Memory fundraising. We've got some great events coming up this year – for more information, please visit the Fundraising section of the newsletter below.
Lucie Wigley
Events and Community Fundraising Senior Co-ordinator
[email protected]
Bereavement Support Service
You can see all of the ways we can help on our website but please do email if you want to know anything at all.
Sadly, it has been busy in our group, with lots of new people joining us. So, welcome to our bereavement group if you have joined recently.
We have been trying some new online support group meetings which are being well attended.
Online support group meetings
Our online support group meetings are an informal chat between us all. There will be around 10 of us at each meeting if everyone attends. You can speak as much or as little as you want to.
Everything we talk about during the meeting is obviously confidential and just between the group. I always start by doing some brief introductions where I will share my experience, followed by our befrienders. Again, it is up to you how much you wish to share. Then we will just take it from there and see how it goes
My experience of ‘in person’ support meetings is that the time usually goes really quickly. We will aim to wrap up on time so please join promptly if you can. Please do ask if you have any questions. It is very normal to feel apprehensive. Please do not worry about crying. I know for me it was a really helpful experience to be with people who all understood how I was feeling. (I first attended a Sands meeting a couple of months after Charlie and Joshua died – I was very nervous but found it so helpful.)
It is helpful if you are able to have your camera on but it is not essential. If you have someone else in the room with you (a partner) please introduce them or let us know in the introductions.
Here are the links for the April and May meetings. Please join the private Facebook group or email for details of June meetings.
Monday 28th March, 7-8.30pm
Twin or triplet pregnancy with survivors. Adults only.
https://bit.ly/353IKFw
Tuesday 5th April, 9.30-11am
Termination For Medical Reason
https://bit.ly/35w17DB
Tuesday 5th April, 1.15-2.45pm
All losses. Sibling, survivors and rainbows are welcome.
https://bit.ly/37aE3KY
Monday 25th April, 7-8.30pm
All losses, adults only.
https://bit.ly/3ISQUPN
Tuesday 10th May, 1.15-2.45pm
All losses. Sibling, survivors and rainbows are welcome.
https://bit.ly/3vOa3yB
Tuesday 17th May, 7-8.30pm
Termination For Medical Reason. Adults only.
https://bit.ly/34oSkTl
Monday 23rd May, 7-8.30pm
Dads only.
https://bit.ly/3hQRAtk
Monday 30th May, 7-8.30pm
Double or triple loss. Adults only.
https://bit.ly/3CphE8e
Bereavement events 2022
We are now on Instagram and Twitter, as well as our public and private Facebook groups. Please follow us to hear about all the things we are planning.
Memorial Meet Up
Our memorial meet up will be a chance to get together with others who have been through similar experiences.
There will be a service part of the meet up where everyone will be invited to share their baby/ babies’ names and place a candle on the table. We will also have a butterfly tree where you can hang a butterfly with your babies' names on. There will be music, poems and some shared experiences. We also plan to have a memory table where you can bring photos, teddies or anything that you would like to share on the day.
Afterwards there will be the chance for coffee and cake, and chatting with others.
It would be lovely to see as many of you as possible. Please let us know if you are able to attend by clicking the button below and filling out the form.
If you are unable to attend we would still love for you and your babies to be included. If you would like us to write you a butterfly to hang on our butterfly tree please email your baby's name/babies' names to [email protected] by 31st May 2022.
We also plan to live stream a short part of our service in our private Facebook group of the candles, and butterflies during our reflective time.
For more on future events, please scroll down to our Fundraising section below.
Meet some of our befrienders
Our befriending service offers peer-to-peer support for those who have experienced a loss. All of our befrienders are parents or grandparents who have experienced the death of their own babies or children that are twins, triplets or more.
Website update
Our website has been updated recently so have a look at our new pages. You should be able to find details of all of our support along with all of our bereavement resources.
Questionnaire
We are finalising the results of the bereavement questionnaire from January 2022 and will be sharing our findings soon. Thank you to everyone who took part and filled in the survey.
Volunteer Day
We said thank you to all of our volunteers on Saturday 5th March at our virtual Volunteer Day. Three of our befrienders got awards for five years of service. Thank you very much to them.
- Vikki Austen
- Claire Gee
- Cat Hardwick
We also had two special recognition awards this year for Sally Fox and Suzie Scofield.
Sally Fox has been a befriender for six years following the death of her twin sons Max and Tobin. Sally is a fully committed befriender and has helped many of our families over the years. She has recently been a great support to Sharon, our bereavement group coordinator, with launching and helping to facilitate our new online group meetings. Sally has also been involved with some recent work on Termination for Medical Reason, contributing to some new resources and to the specific TFMR (Termination for Medical Reason) online group.
Thanks so much Sally, for all of your help and support. It is so appreciated.
"Sally is an amazing befriender, and facilitator for the online groups. She is caring, passionate, honest and always manages to make us smile despite the often heavy discussions we have."
Suzie Schofield has been befriending for the past six years, after her own twin boys Rory and Daniel died. Suzie has been a great help with launching our new online group meetings and has been facilitating with Sharon and other befrienders at many of the groups. Suzie has supported Sharon and Twins Trust for many years now and can be always be relied on. She has helped many families as a befriender and is now involved in our new project to produce a resource for Termination for medical reason.
Thank you so much Suzie for your dedication to Twins Trust.
"Suzie has been a hugely dedicated member of the befrienders support team for a number of years. She is always empathetic, kind and reassuring, she has supported me personally as well as 100s of other families with their losses."
Lucene Hughes Award
This is our new award for the year. Following the loss of our longstanding volunteer, Lucene, last year we want to honour her and formally recognise her years of service to Twins Trust and all the people she helped and supported in this time. With her family's blessing we have named an award in her memory. The Lucene Hughes award is given to a volunteer who has been nominated by their peers.
Sally and Suzie were also both nominated for this award. Well done both of you.
Thank you so much to all of our befrienders. We appreciate you all for everything you do for our Twins Trust bereavement group.
TFMR
Sally Fox explains what we are working on around the topic of Termination For Medical Reason.
- As a part of our volunteering for the BSG, Sharon, Suzie and I identified a significant lack of information and support for people facing TFMR. It is a highly complex area.
- Sharon, along with Louise, approached us about collaborating with them and some external parties to improve the awareness of this hugely distressing, yet often overlooked topic.
- Jane Fisher, Director of ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices) and Dr Surahbi Nandi, Twins Trust Trustee and Foetal Medicine Consultant at Guy’s and St Thomas’ have agreed to work with us to create a resource specifically to support families who find themselves in this unimaginable situation.
- Our aim is to improve the quality of the care and support provided by both the medical professionals and associated support networks.
Donation by Barratt Homes
Staff from Barratt Homes visited the Twins Trust office in Aldershot this month to present a £1,000 donation towards our Bereavement Support Service.
Twins Trust was nominated by Marsha Camilleri, who benefitted from the support service following the death of her identical twin boys, John-Paul and Christopher in January 2020.
Unable to get counselling, she came across Twins Trust and was referred to the bereavement services.
Speaking about the bereavement services, Marsha said: “It’s been my safe place. I didn’t have to explain myself. They knew exactly how I felt and what I was going through.”
Barratt Homes selects a local organisation every month to benefit from its Community Fund Project.
If you would like to nominate Twins Trust for a charity scheme at your workplace, email [email protected]
Pictured above: Sharon meeting Marsha and Zachary (her rainbow baby) for the first time in person after offering her support, with Greg Jennings from Barratt Homes.
Fundraising
BSG virtual 5K Community Run
7th May 2022
We get together and run in memory of our precious babies and children.
This is a very special virtual run. In the past some of you have taken part in a run organised by Run Through but this year, for the first time, we are holding our very own BSG run.
This community is here to support you and also each other – this run is a great reflection of that.
With your registration you will receive a BSG branded t-shirt, a medal to be proud off, a dedicated WhatsApp group and a lot of encouragement to help you along.
Not a runner but want to give it a go? This 5K run could be great goal, with plenty of time to start and get training, there are many Couch to 5K training programs out there to follow. Just imagine the great sense of achievement you are going to feel on 7th May!
Walk 10K for TTTS
25th June 2022
A very popular virtual 10K challenge. You can walk, jog, cycle or hop, anything goes. Invite your your family, friends along or go solo.
It all started in 2020 as a virtual event due to Coronavirus restrictions but we're thrilled to be able to finally be able to offer our first in-person event, in the beautiful setting of Virginia Water, Surrey. Walk 10K around the lake, have a picnic afterwards – a great day out while supporting Twins Trust, research into TTTS and other complications affecting multiple birth pregnancies. All money raised will go towards the work conducted by the Twins Trust Centre for Research and Excellence at St George's Hospital, London.
Please note this event is offered to the whole Twins Trust community and families with multiples might be present.
Sharon and Lucie will both be there to support you. Don't forget, if you can’t make it to Virginia Water you can always sign up for the virtual event.
If you'd like to register a team, please email Lucie at [email protected].
Snowdon Climb
3rd July 2022
Join Twins Trust and eight other baby bereavement charities taking Big Steps for Small Feet.
This is a chance to walk and talk together, to unite and raise money for the Bereavement Support Group. Anyone can sign up.
The Snowdon trek follows the success of last year's challenge, night climb up Ben Nevis. This is a fully organised event, includes breakfast and support on the mountain provided by Discover Adventure.
Join us on this adventure. Sharon and Lucie will both be there to support you.
A personal message from Sharon
On 3rd July I will be taking part in the Snowdon Climb for Twins Trust bereavement support group, alongside 8 other Baby Loss charities. Snowdon is the highest mountain in Wales, at an elevation of 1,085 metres above sea level.
The money raised will go to our bereavement group and help fund new literature, befriender training, our yearly Memorial meet up and other ‘in person’ events as well as helping us to continue to provide much needed support for our bereaved families and friends, and health professionals who support families following the death of a twin, triplet or more.
Charlie and Joshua would have been 23 this year…and as many of you know it is so important for me to keep their memory alive. I have made so many friends along my journey and look forward to sharing this challenge with some of them.
I will be joined by Zena Harvey, Vikki Austen, Suzie Scofield and Bev Mercer (so far) but it would be lovely to add to our little team.
I plan to carry your babies and children with me (if you would like me to). I will be writing names on rose petals and releasing them somewhere near the top of the mountain. I will be filming the release and will share live if possible or as soon as I can if not. Please let me know if you would like your baby to be included. I will be honoured and privileged if they can be part of my day. If you would like to donate, please visit my JustGiving page: justgiving.com/Sharon-Darke8
More events
We also have places for the well loved Great North Run and new places for Ride London-Essex and the Royal Parks Half Marathon. We’d really like to support you with other challenges or fundraising ideas too, at school, work place or your community, just get in touch and let us know your plans or ideas.
A very special THANK YOU, WELL DONE and GOOD LUCK to everyone who's already signed up to fundraising, whether it's a challenge event or In Memory Fundraising. You are amazing, we are in awe of what you're able to do and truly value your support. Thank you.
~ Lucie and Sharon
Don’t forget you can also support us by sharing our emails with your support networks, or play the Lottery for your chance to win. If you are shopping with Amazon, buy through Amazon Smile and choose to support Twins Trust, then from every purchase a percentage will be donated our charity.
Support Twins Trust at Amazon Smile
Important
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