Nursery and school bugs in twins and triplets: Managing illness, absences and routines

Nursery, preschool and school bring exciting opportunities for twins and triplets throughout the year. Whether your children are starting a new setting for the first time, moving into a new class or returning after the summer holidays, each term can bring new friendships, new routines and plenty of opportunities to learn and grow.

It can also bring a challenge many parents of multiples know all too well: a seemingly endless stream of coughs, colds and other illnesses.

If your twins or triplets are settling into a new environment or returning to a busy classroom after a break, don't be surprised if illness becomes a regular part of family life for a while. Although it can be exhausting, it's a very normal part of children building their immune systems.

Why do children catch so many illnesses at nursery or school?

Whenever children return to nursery or school after a holiday, move into a new class or start a new setting, they're likely to be exposed to a wide range of germs. Young children are still developing immunity to common viruses, so it's normal for them to pick up coughs, colds and other illnesses throughout the school year.

For families with twins or triplets, this can feel relentless. One child may bring home a virus, pass it to their sibling, who then passes it back again. Sometimes it can feel as though someone in the family is always unwell.

The good news is that this phase won't last forever. As children are exposed to more common viruses, they gradually build immunity and many families find that illnesses become less frequent over time.

Is it okay for one twin or triplet to attend if their sibling is ill?

This is one of the most common questions parents of multiples ask. The answer is usually yes.

If one of your twins or triplets is well, has no symptoms and meets their nursery or school's attendance policy, there is generally no reason to keep them at home simply because their sibling is unwell.

As parents of multiples, it can sometimes feel strange to separate them temporarily, especially if they usually do everything together. However, allowing a well child to attend can help maintain their routine, support their learning and friendships, and provide some normality during a disruptive week.

Of course, every family situation is different. Practical considerations such as transport, childcare arrangements and the severity of a sibling's illness may influence your decision. But if logistics allow, there's no need to feel guilty about sending one child while another recovers at home.

Remember: twins and triplets are individuals

One of the joys - and challenges - of parenting multiples is recognising that each child is unique.

You may find that one twin sails through their first term with barely a sniffle, while another seems to catch every bug going. Equally, one child may bounce back from illness in a day or two while their sibling takes longer to recover.

The same can be true for settling into nursery or school. One child may run through the door with confidence, while another needs extra reassurance at drop-off.

These differences are completely normal and don't mean either child is doing better or worse. Try to avoid comparisons and focus on supporting each child as an individual.

Helping to reduce the spread of bugs at home

It's impossible to prevent every illness, especially when young children are mixing with larger groups. However, a few simple habits can help limit the spread of germs around the household:

• Wash hands after nursery or school and before meals.
• Keep frequently touched surfaces clean.
• Avoid sharing cups and water bottles where possible.
• Ensure children get plenty of rest.
• Offer regular fluids when they're unwell.
• Follow nursery or school guidance about when children should stay at home.

Most importantly, remember that illness-related absences are a normal part of early childhood.

Be kind to yourself

The first few months of nursery or school can be a significant adjustment for everyone.

Between settling-in sessions, new routines, emotional goodbyes at the gate and the inevitable stream of childhood bugs, it's easy to feel overwhelmed.

Remember that most families experience this stage. There will be disrupted plans, unexpected days at home and weeks that don't go quite as intended.

Give yourself credit for navigating a busy and often challenging period. Your twins or triplets are learning, growing and becoming more independent every day, and you're supporting them through each step of that journey.

And if one twin or triplet is happily heading off to nursery or school while another is recovering at home, that's perfectly okay. Meeting each child's individual needs is one of the many strengths of parenting multiples.