Postnatal depression after having twins or triplets

Pregnancy and the first months after birth can be demanding for any parent. When you are expecting or caring for twins, triplets or more, the additional practical and emotional pressures can sometimes make things feel particularly difficult.

Postnatal depression can affect parents during a twin or triplet pregnancy and after your babies are born. If you are struggling with postnatal depression after having twins or triplets, you do not have to manage everything by yourself. Getting support and talking about how you are feeling can be an important first step.

These suggestions are based on the experiences of hundreds of parents of twins, triplets or more who took part in a Twins Trust Health and Wellbeing Survey.

Ask for help and accept help

Asking for help can be difficult, particularly if you feel you should be able to cope by yourself. But looking after two, three or more babies places significant demands on parents, and depression can make everyday tasks feel even harder.

Try to tell someone when you are struggling and accept practical or emotional support when it is available. Getting help can support both your own wellbeing and your ability to care for your children.

For some ideas of what help you can ask for, take a look at this article, Asking for and accepting help in the first few weeks with twins.

Talk to someone about how you are feeling

You may find it difficult to put your feelings into words, but talking can help.

You might choose to speak to your partner, a family member, friend or healthcare professional. Having someone listen without judgement can provide relief and may help you begin to understand what you are experiencing.

Try not to withdraw or hide how you are feeling from the people around you.

Don’t feel ashamed of how you are feeling

Depression during pregnancy or after birth is not a sign that you are a bad parent or that you are failing to cope.

It can also be easy to assume that feeling very low is simply part of the exhaustion and pressure of caring for twins, triplets or more. However, persistent feelings of depression should not simply be dismissed as something you have to live with.

Postnatal depression (PND) is an illness and support is available.

Get help early

If you feel that something is not right, try to speak to someone as soon as you can.

Your midwife, health visitor or doctor can help you understand what support may be appropriate. Different types of support and treatment are available, including talking therapies, self-help approaches and medication.

Reaching out early can help you start getting the support you need sooner.

Connect with other parents

Talking to somebody who has experienced depression during pregnancy or after having a baby can be reassuring.

Other parents may understand feelings and challenges that are difficult to explain to somebody who has not experienced them. Hearing that other people have felt similarly can also help reduce feelings of isolation.

You may find support through local groups or by connecting with other parents of twins, triplets or more through our online communities.

Take things one day at a time

Looking after more than one baby is demanding even when you are feeling well. When your mental health is struggling, your usual expectations of yourself may simply not be realistic.

Try to concentrate on what you have managed rather than what you have not.

Some days, getting dressed, eating something or getting everybody through the day may be an achievement in itself. Try not to judge yourself against what you think you should be doing.

Keep seeking help if you need it

The first type of support you try may not always be the one that works best for you.

If you ask for help and do not receive the support you need straight away, keep trying. Different people respond to different approaches and it can sometimes take time to find the right treatment or support.

If you feel you are not being heard, continue speaking up about how you are feeling.

Try to get out and about

Caring for babies can sometimes feel isolating, particularly when getting everybody ready and leaving the house feels like a major task.

If you feel able to, getting outside and doing some gentle physical activity can help your wellbeing. This could be as simple as going for a short walk with your babies in the buggy.

You do not need to plan a big outing. A little fresh air and a change of surroundings can be enough.

For practical support, read our article on how to get out of the house with twin babies.

Work together with your partner or support network

Mental health difficulties can affect the whole family.

If you have a partner, try to keep talking openly about how you are both feeling and what you need from one another. Be patient with each other and remember that you may both be dealing with tiredness, worry and significant changes to everyday life.

If you do not have a partner, think about who else could be part of your support network, whether that is family, friends or other people you trust.

Real stories from your community

Learn more about postnatal depression for twins

Understanding postnatal depression and recognising its symptoms can help you make sense of what you are experiencing.

You may find it helpful to read reliable information about PND and the different types of support available.

Recovery can take time. Try to give yourself that time and continue asking for help when you need it.

If what you’re experiencing does not feel like postnatal depression, you can find information about other mental health difficulties and where to get help in our guide to perinatal mental health support.

Remember, you don’t have to cope alone

Many parents find pregnancy and the period after birth emotionally challenging. Caring for twins, triplets or more can add additional pressures, but struggling with your mental health is not something you simply have to accept as part of having multiples.

Talk to somebody you trust and seek support from your midwife, health visitor or doctor if you are concerned about how you are feeling.