2 April 2020

Tired of dirty nappies, twin mum Jennifer Filippini decided to take radical action.

After a few half-hearted attempts to potty train our three-year-old twins, Gabriella and Maria, we decided it was time to fully commit. We had tried having the potty sitting around the living room and sticking them on the toilet occasionally when we were out and about, but had only succeeded in causing dismay - they didn’t understand what was happening!

One miserable weekend, with no other plans, my husband and I decided we would nail it.

A few days beforehand, we started to prepare the girls for wearing “big girl pants” and using the “big girl toilet” or “big girl potty”. We set up star charts in the bathroom, telling them they would get a golden star and a special trip to the cinema to see Frozen 2 - we thought incentivising the experience might make the job slightly easier.

Well, up to a point. When the weekend came, we armed ourselves with hundreds of pairs of tiny pants (and carpet cleaner) and let them run about in pants. We took them to the bathroom every 20 minutes or so - often a struggle, especially if they were busy doing something fun. We had a few accidents but, on the whole, they seemed to understand what to do. We gave them a choice of loo or potty, but kept the potty in the bathroom so they understood that the bathroom is the right place (not the living room!).

By the end of the weekend we were exhausted and had cabin fever, but thought our hard work had paid off. When nursery came around on Monday morning, however, it all collapsed. As I was handing over spare clothes to the room leader and explaining how well they had both been doing, I noticed a dribble trickling down Gabriella’s leg - then looked over to see the same thing happening to Maria.

Seven changes at nursery later, they were back in pull-ups. I felt very disheartened. However, the nursery team encouraged me not to give up, saying they had noticed how far the girls had come in a short space of time.

We decided to try again after nursery that week. It took a few weekends for the girls to get it, but they did, and soon learned to tell us when they needed to go. The first time Maria came up to me and said “I done a wee-wee by myself” I couldn’t believe it until I checked, and realised she’d made the trip up to the bathroom herself. A few days later Gabriella did the same. I was so proud!

Gabriella and Maria are different in personality and approached potty training differently. Maria is a people-pleaser and loved the praise she got from us when she had successes. Gabriella took longer to adjust to the change, which upset her, and she wouldn’t tell us when she needed to go so there were more accidents.

It took me a while to feel confident enough to leave the house with them in pants - the temptation was still to rely on pull-ups. When I go out now I just make sure I take plenty of spare clothes and pants for them (not forgetting socks and shoes) and we don’t stray too far from toilets. They are sometimes so excited to be using new toilets that they want to visit several times - not easy while juggling the two of them, especially when I’m on my own. Patience is key.

My advice to other parents is to remember the children are different and will approach this new experience differently too - as they will so many things in life. I would also say don’t give up, and seek advice from other parents: you’ll probably get an exasperated groan, but it’s something that has to be done. Take spare clothes everywhere. 

Rewards and praise will go a long way, but if the children don’t feel ready, don’t push it. After our first weekend, the girls obviously weren’t ready so ended up back in pull-ups for a few days, but after we started again the improvement was amazing. And ultimately, it beats changing nappies any day!