21 June 2024
Life took a whole new direction for Monique Bertrand and her partner when they discovered she was pregnant with triplets.
When Monique Bertrand was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) at just 28, she thought her chances of having a family were gone forever.
But she never gave up on her dream to become a mother. And when the pandemic hit in 2020, Monique discovered a new outlook on life and started focusing on herself. She set herself a mission to lose weight and improve her health, having suffered a heartbreaking miscarriage in 2019. She lost six stone in just over a year and then in 2022, discovered she and her partner John were expecting triplets.
Monique said: “I was diagnosed with PCOS at 28. It was really difficult being told that at 28. I was in a lot of pain before that. I didn’t really want to find out what it was. I was too scared as I knew it must be something. But someone said to me I had to get it checked out. Tests revealed it was advanced PCOS.
“Doctors said that I probably wasn’t going to have children, they were very honest with me. But they didn’t give me much more information than that. I was really sad about it. Honestly, I went into a period of depression. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened.”
Monique’s best friend stepped in and offered support and encouraged her to return to the doctor. Monique said: “The doctor said it was going to be very difficult but I should never lose hope and that we could explore other options to help me. She referred me to quite a few agencies to think about some of the issues. With the PCOS came diabetes, high blood pressure and lots of pain.”
After meeting her partner, the couple’s relationship grew serious and they discussed having a family. “We are both religious and we said we would pray about this and see how it goes. We started trying for a family, but nothing happened until 2019, when I found out I was pregnant. It was quite unexpected but then months later, I had a miscarriage. My whole world crashed. I genuinely thought that was my time to be my mother,” she added.
Monique had suffered a subchorionic haematoma, which causes excessive bleeding during pregnancy. She said the process was very traumatic.
“I genuinely thought this was never going to happen to me. I spoke to a midwife and she said she wanted to be honest with me and said I needed to lose weight,” she said.
At the time Monique was working as a Deputy Head at a south London school. She set herself a challenge to improve her health and within just over a year at the end of 2021, she had lost six stone. She said: “I know the pandemic was a really hard time but for me personally, it’s the thing that changed my life. It gave me confidence and a purpose back in my life. I lost six stone and I changed my job and became Assistant Director of Education at my local authority. I was so much happier in life and we started trying again for a baby in March 2022. We decided if by the end of 2022 we weren’t pregnant, we would seriously consider fostering or adoption.”
The couple’s dreams came true in April 2022, when they discovered they were pregnant.
Monique said: “I was screaming, I was so happy. I was very scared and anxious at the same time.”
The early stages of Monique’s pregnancy were tough with a lengthy period of sickness in the early weeks. During week eight, she awoke to find she was bleeding and feared the worst. While at the early pregnancy unit, doctors asked if the pregnancy was an IVF conception.
Monique confirmed it was a natural conception and that’s when the greatest surprise happened.
“They said everything was fine but they could hear three heartbeats. I was like, what?! They said I was having triplets. I started screaming and laughing. My partner couldn’t speak. His jaw dropped. It was a rollercoaster of emotions in 30 seconds,” she said.
After the surprise revelation about the multiples, Monique said she kept a strong focus on her mental health during the pregnancy. Scans took place every two weeks. Selective reduction was offered. This is a procedure to reduce the number of embryos/foetuses in a multiple pregnancy. It can be offered in a twin pregnancy following the detection of a congenital or genetic defect in one of the twins. When offered in a triplets or higher order (four or more) pregnancy, this is usually to reduce the risks of carrying three or more foetuses to term. In Northern Ireland, selective reduction isn’t routinely offered but can be done for medical reasons.
“Multiples’ mums need to know about selective reduction, it’s a hard part of it all. I said thank you to the doctors and said I understood the reasons why it had to be said but I asked them to please not mention it again.”
That moment when you can tell which child is moving is just quite a phenomenal moment for mum of multiples
Monique said it’s important to raise awareness about the conditions pregnant mothers can experience. She suffered from high blood pressure, diabetes and Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and was carefully monitored throughout the pregnancy.
“I learnt to live with it but it wasn’t easy. I had to wear a back brace and it was hard to walk. But all the while I started feeling the babies moving more. That moment when you can tell which child is moving is just quite a phenomenal moment for mum of multiples. Learning who they are from the womb is an amazing way to connect with them.”
The pregnancy continued but by week 30, Monique’s blood pressure had increased and doctors were worried she had pre-eclampsia. Things then moved extremely quickly and Monique found herself in theatre, surrounded by 35 members of staff ready to welcome the triplets into the world via C-section.
Commenting on the birth, she said: “I laid down and looked up to the sky in the theatre and there were purple butterflies on a mural. At that point I knew everything would be ok.”
Lylah was born first, followed by Macho and finally Trinity. “The moment I heard Trinity cry, it was everything. The staff were phenomenal, it was the best experience,” she said.
Follow Monique on Instagram @ferreira_triplets
Monique is a member of the Twins Trust Black Mothers online community. Find out more at Twins Trust – Black Mothers of Twins, Triplets or More on Facebook.
Twins Trust runs a triplets and more online weekly group every Thursday from 1-2pm. It’s hosted by Support Practitioner Gemma and triplet parent volunteers.