19 June 2024 

William may be only-four-years-old but he definitely looks out for his twin sister, Ruby. Whether it’s helping her learn important life skills or just being there for her, he understands the bond between him and his twin.

The miracle babies were conceived after a successful third round of IVF. Parents Selina and James were told at their 20-week scan that Ruby had a heart defect and knew surgery was inevitable soon after she was born.

The twins spent just a short time together when they were born during the Covid pandemic in July 2020. Ruby was then transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital in London where she underwent lifesaving heart surgery at just two weeks old.

Life hasn’t been easy for the family and Selina has looked back on their time together so far and what has kept them going through their rollercoaster journey.

Selina said: “We always kept focused. We knew about Ruby’s heart defect in advance so we did have a plan in place. We were able to prepare knowing that one child would be in hospital and one with us. When it’s in real life, it’s a whole different story.
“In their first six weeks, Ruby and William just had minutes together. She had surgery at Great Ormond Street Hospital 14 days after she was born. It was for an artificial conduit, like an artificial artery in her heart. It was seven hours long but it went well.”

Ruby’s fighting spirit continued when she underwent more surgery just before her second birthday as the artificial artery needed replacing. Selina explained what helped her and husband James through the past four years and the early days when Ruby was in and out of hospital.

She said: “Talking is key and communication – make sure you talk with a partner if you are fortunate to have one. It’s about sharing the load and asking for help and accepting help when it is offered. You have to think about your mental health. I knew I had two children who both needed me, but you have to try and make time for you too. The long hours in hospital can be quite isolating on your own. I talked to other parents in hospital too who were in the same situation. I also chatted with other twin parents on my WhatsApp groups.”

William goes out of his way to look after Ruby

She added: “Ruby’s development has always been between six to nine months behind - she does have additional needs. It’s circumstantial because of her health. I know twins don’t always do things at the same time but in my opinion that’s quite a big gap to handle when one is doing something and the other isn’t. I found that quite difficult. Their milestones were never going to be that close. In some ways it actually helped. William helped Ruby to eat and helped her to crawl and walk.

“William was confidently walking before Ruby was crawling. On one occasion, he stopped walking and spent two days crawling around and we wondered what he was doing. The following day Ruby started crawling. It seemed like a twin thing with him helping her. Then he carried on walking again. He always looks out for her. For a four-year-old, he shouldn’t be worrying about her the way that he does, but he does. That’s just how he is. He knows if she goes blue around her face, he knows she needs to rest. It’s a warning that her heart is working more than it should be and she’s tired. He sees those telltale signs. He goes out of his way to look after her.”

Selina, who is also on the committee for the Stevenage and Knebworth Twins Club, added: “Overall it has been a positive journey for Ruby. She still has the leaking valve but they are hoping they can replace it with an artificial one when she’s older. Now, four years on, you can see the bond between her and William. She looks up to him from a development perspective. William looks out for Ruby, he’s so caring about her.”

Twins Trust has been there to support the family too, on the end of the phone when the family needed extra help.
Selina added: “The journey has been up and down and even harder as they are twins. Twins Trust has been supporting our family throughout this time, virtually on the phone at the beginning and with visits when possible. It’s an amazing thing that Twins Trust has done for us – it’s been fantastic. Without it, I don’t know where I would have been. The advice was amazing.”

Need a listening ear? Call our helpline 

Twins Trust has a helpline that offers free support to families with twins, triplets or more. Sometimes you may just need a listening ear, with no judgement, from somebody who understands. All our trained volunteers have developed expertise by virtue of parenting twins or triplets. We can also signpost you to our resources for further support. To get in touch, call 0800 138 0509 (Monday to Friday 10am-1pm and 7pm-10pm). Alternatively you can email [email protected].

Heart Heroes 

Selina now helps to support other families whose children have congenital heart defects via the Hertfordshire branch of Heart Heroes. Find out more about the hub by emailing [email protected]