9 June 2020

By Amy Frankcom.
Credit: Bespoke Family

Being a teen twin is strange. I have never known any different, of course, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not have somebody constantly with you wherever you go, to share special days with. Even though I’ve spent nearly 14 years being a twin, I still struggle to explain what it’s like having one. Honestly, I’m so glad I have him there, in school and anywhere, really. To have someone there, to go to when something goes wrong, and to have someone to give me advice on things, even though sometimes he doesn’t understand. But there is a downside; the fact that I can never have a day to myself – birthdays, GCSE results day and any accomplishments I have had so far and will have in the next few years will be shared with him, which is sad but also amazing, because I have someone to share my joy and sorrow with every step of the way.

Amy with her twin brother Ben

Twin bonds are like no other – we can be fighting for a whole day, but the next hour we can go back to normal chatting as if it’s nothing –

I know that whatever happens he will always be there, pestering me and bugging me because that’s just what he’s there for

– there is never a boring day with Ben, as every day is filled with arguments and laughing and meaningless conversations that you can have while sharing a biscuit he stole from the kitchen! 

Sometimes I hate being a twin, because we have to share friends, share experiences and just have to be involved with each other all the time, but then I have to remind myself that

I would never have it any other way.

One thing I do find a lot is that we always compare ourselves to each other, and test scores and special comments from teachers are always compared and talked about; I can’t do an essay or question that we have from the same class without him asking to see mine. 

We were bought up exactly the same; had the same opportunities, the same upbringing, but we are so different – he loves racing tracks and cars and loud exhausts, and I love animals, dancing, reading and being with my friends.

I hate being defined as a twin; my name around school is ‘Ben’s twin’, and everyone that I meet asks if we are related and always seem to ask if we are identical; it’s ridiculous – I feel like the only personality trait I am allowed to have is being a twin. I want to be called Amy, not ‘the twin’ or ‘Ben’s twin’, just Amy – sometimes I’m not even asked my name, and am just called a twin, but I am my own person, even though we may share similar traits and lives. I just want my own identity, but then again I feel like part of my identity is being a twin, and that is part of me as it is a part of Ben.

We do not have mind reading abilities with each other, but we do have a special bond that nobody can break.