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Feel like I’m really struggling with my 2.5 year old twins. I know it’s their age but they are constantly pushing boundaries and buttons, not sleeping properly, screaming at me. I’m at my wits end and feel like I’m not cut out to be a twin mum 😔
Thanks so much for your replies everyone, it really means a lot and is very helpful. After I posted last night I ended up booking onto the behaviour webinar which I stumbled across. I’m feeling a lot more hopeful now that I may get a bit of advice and some knowledge on how to handle them at this stage. We’ve actually had a nicer day today, managed to get out for most of it. Life is so much easier when we can get out of the house. We were doing well before lockdown I think it’s a mixture of feeling stuck in and their age that seems to of just clashed. I love the idea of spending time with both separately , just so hard to get help with someone to look after the other twin at the same time x
I know how you feel.My boy-girl twins were behaving in the some way. Strategies I used: spend a day with each of them -- just "me and mummy" time to remind yourself how lovely they are. Alll that attention helped mine remember how lovely mummy could be too. I also registered for and watched the TwinsTrust behavior seminars-- I now use "timeout" for toys when they fight over a toy and that really works. For sleeping, I no longer give them a bedtime bath as this only excites them-- they splash all the water out of the bath and play rough. I play the same bedtime CD lullabies so they know when they hear the music it is really time for bed-- and something else to listen for other than mum's voice telling them "heads on pillows." I also set up sticker charts for sharing and taking turns, since these were the areas that caused the most fights. Finally, be kind to yourself. I gave myself a sticker chart too and reward myself at the end of each day!
My boy/girl twins have just turned three and I can completely understand how you feel. I think 2-3 is an incredibly challenging age when they are pushing boundaries, learning to assert themselves and also knowing which buttons to push to wind mummy up! They demand so much attention at this age as they work out the world and seeing friends with their toddlers, it’s tough with singletons let alone with two the same age. It’s inevitable that you can’t give each your whole attention all the time and I found as soon as my twins got bored or distracted, that’s when the screaming and refusal to listen really kicked in. I don’t have a magic answer but I tried to stay firm on boundaries and tried to keep a step ahead of them with activities or distractions lined up to do to keep them engaged. (Which completely appreciate isn’t always easy to do when you’re trying to get everyday life done too!) But don’t beat yourself up - you’re doing a fantastic job and completely cut out to be a twin mum - hey, you’ve got through 2 and a half years already so you must be doing something right! it’s just really bloody hard going sometimes. It is just another phase and it will pass. Best of luck!
You’re clearly a good twin mum - you’re asking for advice. Be kind to yourself - toddlers are hard!! Contact your health visitor or your local children’s centre. They may do parenting classes - doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent but they have ideas that might help you.
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