When parents have lost a baby, or babies, they may be asking lots of questions and searching for answers to try and understand what has happened. It’s important that parents can access information easily when facing the death of one or more of their babies – make sure you have that information ready to discuss with families. Be aware of the bereaved parent’s medical history, in case they have previously been bereaved.

Language is key when delivering information to parents. Use clear, concise and caring language, whether it’s at the time of delivering bad or unexpected news, during the birth, while making memories with the family or afterwards at follow-up appointments.

Your words can make a real difference. Consider how you refer to the twin who’s died if they’re still pregnant with a surviving twin or triplets. Families usually want the twin or triplet who has died acknowledged.

As a Healthcare Professional, it can be helpful for you to guide parents through the memory making process with their baby/babies. You can offer as many chances as you can for them to remember their baby/babies, including taking photos, the chance to hold the baby or bathing and dressing them. You could suggest making hand and footprints, keeping a lock of hair or giving other family members the chance to meet the baby.

When parents are bereaved, it can be supportive to signpost them to groups where they will find others who have faced a similar situation. Tell them about Twins Trust’s Bereavement Service so they have the information, should they wish to use it. Anyone who experiences the death of a twin, triplet or more can be supported by our services.

At the time of losing a baby, it’s difficult to take everything in and so sometimes even if families are told about support, they won’t remember or be in a place to follow it up. A check-in at some point later can be so valuable and a chance to remind families of the support available. Twins Trust has produced a range of leaflets to help families through the bereavement process including our Navigating Grief booklet.

Counselling can be beneficial for many bereaved families. It’s encouraged to keep in touch with the family during the first year, possibly through the bereavement midwife or hospital counsellors. By checking in with families, you can remind them again of the support available to them. For further information on counselling and other support services, visit our bereavement support page.

We’ve spoken to families who have shared with us comments that have been made by Healthcare Professionals after they have had a bereavement.

• Do you think you’ll have a second child?” (from a midwife at the six-month checkup with one surviving twin) 
• “You're lucky it was twins. So many people come in here and leave with no baby.” (from a NICU nurse) 
• “Imagine if you had to carry two of those!” (from a doctor to a bereaved parent, about bringing car seats into an appointment) 
• “So here you are with your singleton pregnancy.” (from a doctor to a mum who had lost the other twin to TTTS)
•  “Take care with this baby.” (from a midwife to a woman who had lost a twin to TTTS)